1989

Hunting Video 1 ja 2

Young hunters shoot rats with their air rifles at the Rusko dump, while atmospheric music plays in the background.

A Bird on a Wire / Dracula is back

A youth, disguised with a Dracula-mask, and sporting a Hellraiser-shirt, is released from prison. (The fallout shelter from Kolivuori's block of flats played the role of prison.) A tough cyclist dude (whose bike resembles a bicycle oddly enough) with a possible criminal background (and a squirrel for a beard) awaits Rubberface-Dracula. The comrades greet each other and the clip ends with the mysterious message: "Dracula is Back!" The question remains, where is Dracula back from?

Miscellaneous Clips

Plotless RealTV

TV

Dracula discovers a television set in the woods, and fails in his attempt to make it work. Thus he is gripped by insane fury, and destroys the set by tossing several, sizeable pieces of rock at it. This clip is a monologue of sorts, where the actor (Penttinen) got to process some teenaged angst and use severe language. Brilliant, no?

The Abandoned Car

Dracula is at it again. This time Big D finds a car, which he would have gladly destroyed also, if the said car had not been sitting next to a very busy road.

The Recklooses of Mustasalmi

Dracula rows a boat near the Nallikari beach (Oulu) while listening to horror soundtracks on a ghettoblaster that has been cranked to diabolical levels of volume, thus disturbing the peace of other recreational rowers. A clear visual talent can be observed, for example in the scene where a befuddled crow is stumbling around on the sand while the Nightmare on Elm Street theme plays in the background. There is also a delightful scene featuring a stupefied recreationalist, who is slightly mystified by the ruler of Transsylvania rowing past him, listening to the Halloween theme cranked to eleven. The somewhat uncomfortable situation is not helped by the count's lackey filming the open mouthed fellow from about four feet away. The atmospheric music is naturally complimented by the insolent laughter of both Penttinen and Kolivuori. Sick? Perhaps, but it was just a beginning...

1990

Three Amigos vs. Evil Dead

A two-hour epic, where three masked fellows (Dracula-Penttinen, Gorbatshov-Kolivuori, and Miterrand-JD) inherit an old, green house, and from its basement, find a German Geisterjäger-novel. After some tomfoolery, Miterrand comes to marvel at Dracula's trendsetting woolly vest, and accidently (or in a fit of jealousy) tears it apart. Dracula, in a rage, storms outside for a walk. He runs into an innocent bicyclist (Kolivuori), who is dressed in a leather trenchcoat and a plastic visor, and violently acquires his bike. Returning home, Dracula decides to read a chapter of Geisterjäger (in German), awakening an evil spirit from the nearby woods, Sam Raimi's Evil Dead-style. The unfortunate cyclist is possessed by the spirit, and thus Ich Jagte is born - an institution in psychotic acting. The Ich Jagte-man is defined by his loud ferocity, and the need to hurt his close ones in showy, and bloody ways. The character was so well-received, that we used it in other productions later on.

Ich Jagte infiltrates the inherited house with the intent of slaying the three fellows, and almost achieves this as well. Everyone gets their share: the sleeping Gorbatshov's chest is used as a trampoline, Dracula is shot showily in the chest, and Miterrand gets 9 millimeters of pain into his thigh. Our heroes are forced to call in a special Ich Jagte-taskforce from the army, which Ich Jagte disposes of, except for the explosives specialist and the commander. Thus Ich Jagte is subdued, and sent off to prison. It bears saying, that only the specialists actually die in the movie, while the three fellows remain in fairly good shape despite their apparently serious injuries.

This film contains some amazingly 'brilliant' scenes, like the aforementioned 'Dracula is shot in the chest' scene, the breaking of an arm, and a devastating scene where Gorbatshov's hand is taken over by evil, and he must chop it off with an axe! Ingenious plot-twists were also heavily invested in: In one scene Gorbatshov is hypnotised by Ich Jagte, and ventures back to the future with his miracle-bike Ööke. Gorbie does not appear in the movie after this scene.

The shooting schedule reached Coppolaesque dimensions, and summer turned into winter. We did not let small details, like snow, disturb our shoots, and decided to continue the production without any additional explanations. The snow actually became a 'plot element', presented as some inexplicable supernatural occurranse The duration of the final cut is mostly explained by our old motto of: 'If we shoot it, we use it'. We shouldn't have, we really shouldn't have... Three Amigos vs. Evil Dead is a bloody jewel in the crown of splatter-turkies!

The Card Game

Gorbatshov and Miterrand play cards silently in this 'silent movie' which features the occasional grunts and farts from the actors, along with the whirring of the camera. Gorbatshov sets his hand ontop of a card, lifts it, and behold, the card has vanished thanks to mystical editing! Similar mayhem ensues. This clip can only be described with one word: CRAP! The editing was all right, but it would be fairly essential for the actors and the camera to remain in one place during the 'card tricks'. Fun if pathetic!

Polka Party

Umm, yeah... The camera is set on a tripod, while a Weird Al tune plays in the background, and for some inexplicable reason, Penttinen, Kolivuori and JD are acting like monkeys on acid in front of the camera. Nuff said...

1991

Gorbatshov Today

This was a sociology essay by Penttinen, which ponders on the future of the ex-Soviet leader, Mihael Gorbatshov, within the American entertainment industry. The production is composed of original film clips (Rambo, Rocky, Elm Street, etc.) and Gorba's screentests for the said movies. A frightening neorealist vision of a past that never was - thank God. The teacher was struck silent by the production, and did not really talk to Penttinen anymore, but incorporated the film as a part of her curriculum. Probably as a warning example.

1992

Re-Animator 3 - the Return

Our ambition was to make a genuinely frightening horror movie, by mixing Halloween and Re-Animator together. The film did turn out to be pretty damn frightening, but not in the way we had planned. The plot is as follows. JD's character arrives with his baggage at an old green house (again). He ventures inside, and finds something utterly terrifying in the basement (again). He then calls a friend (Kolivuori), who is just playing Jumpman Junior (on a 386SX!!!), asking him to come over. The gentlemen proceed to the basement, where they find a corpse (Penttinen) covered by a sheet, some test tubes, and a bottle of green liquid(!), along with some blood-transfusion equipment. Not the sort to muck about, Kolivuori's character dons the while jacket and starts 'doctoring' the corpse. The green fluid is injected into the body, and what must be the greatest transfusion in movie history follows. The corpse does not react immediately though, so the gentlemen lose their interest, and exit the basement.

Later on the corpse resurrects to the theme of Halloween, and gets about, with the aim to kill Kolivuori's and JD's characters. I do not want to give away the mystery ending, but Kolivuori's character shoots the bogeyman in the eye with a pistol. And there was blood.

There's some great angles and inspired lighting effects in the movie, but as far as the acting and the special defects go, there is still a long way to go. Three Amigos vs. Evil Dead was a cornucopia of great effects, so what went wrong here? What went wrong, was that we were too serious in making this one, without our usual mirth. It was still worth making, and gets riotous laughs from people today. You can laugh, we can take it...

Miscellaneous Dracula-clips

Dracula's adventures have been documented to a fair extent. Pasi Härkönen did the filming, and Penttinen acted the part of Dracula. This was just a series of various mishaps that Dracula got into.

Tuplaman

Tuplaman is the ultimate hero, a legend in his time.

Pingu

Pingu was an ordinary, animated playdough penguinboy, until his speech got dubbed in horrendous ways.

Advertisements

Advertisements for a now bankrupt chain of stores and a now bankrupt bank, with a sick twist.

1993

Introduction to Morbidity - the story of Klaus Bollock Vomit

A soiled jewel by the now passed on Insane Rules team, which included (in addition to Kolivuori and Penttinen), Pasi Härkönen, Pekka Kerimaa, and Jukka Siltala. The gentlemen got an assignment from their arts teacher, to shoot a short film of any topic. After lengthy meetings (drinking beer and causing public unrest) the plot was ready. The story is one of an ordinary Finnish man, whose name just happens to be Klaus Bollock Vomit, and of his fight against the injustices and double-standards of modernday society.

K.B. Vomit (Siltala) thinks that he is in for a normal day at work as the assistant nurse of a mental hospital, even if the morning pretty much sucked ass. Before getting to his place of work, K.B. Vomit indulges in eating a pack of filters, vomiting blood, stepping onto a nail, and burning his hand badly. Once he reaches his office, he finds the German Otto Von Sykkeys there, who is a doctor don't you know. K.B. Vomit has been fired, and the guards toss his ass out in the snow. He goes to the local Alko (government booze store) to seek relief, but falls on his way home, and breaks all of his bottles. Like this wasn't enough, his wallet is stolen by a very shifty sort as he lays unconscious in the snow. Finding himself out of work, money, and booze, Klaus Bollock is gripped by a furious homicidal psychosis, and begins his violent quest against society, and everyone whom he meets.

Grannies, joggers, and bums all get the ride of their life. Shooting, arm-breaking, and above all, beating people with a truncheon! Blood flies all over the place, wheee! All the beatings were filmed on very public spots, so the film features several stupified and worried bystanders. The arts teacher was very taken by what he saw, and encouraged the fellows to make a sequel. All the fans were in turn adamant in their demand to see a sequel.

Morbidity 2 - the Taste of Insanity

Introduction to Morbidity got such a raving reception that we decided to make a sequel. The production team consisted of exactly the same guys as in the first Morbidity. This megalomanic project took all summer, and the entire crew was pretty smashed up about the amount of work it took. The editing also took its time, even though we had the use of the studio at the University of Oulu. The final edit of Morbidity 2 was finished at the beginning on 1994, making this a ten month job!

The plot (in its simplicity) is as follows:

A mysterious doctor with a drool-problem (Penttinen) at Kemira has developed a highly dangerous nervetoxin, which has to be shipped away 'so uncle won't drink it by accident'. The Arab terrorists (Siltala, Härkönen, Penttinen) steal the nervetoxin, and Kemira's secret agent Ich Jagte (Kolivuori) is dispatched to retrieve it. Taste of Insanity also has another story embedded in it, where Klaus B. Vomit (Siltala) from Morbidity 1 gets out of the mental asylum, and goes to celebrate his freedom with his friends (Kerimaa, Härkönen, Penttinen) in the traditional Finnish way, driving to the summer cottage and getting blasted. The trails of Ich Jagte, the Arabs, and the cottage group meet when the bottle of toxin falls into the river, and a local hillbilly, Rainer, drinks its contents, turning into a zombie. The zombie assaults the cottage group, with bloody consequences. Let the adventure begin! Beatings, the living dead, chainsawing, shooting, tearing clothes, vomiting, and poo! Additionally, the film features the beating of Spede (a famous Finnish comedian)!

The movie has five actors, but an insane amount of characters:

Juha Penttinen:

The Drooldoc, the Arab terrorist, the asylum guard, the man in the raincoat, the strange gimp, the disciple, the cottage goer, Spede as Härski Hartikainen, the vatruska-grandma, zombie rising from the grave

Antti Kolivuori:

Ich Jagte, the strangled loonie, Spiderman, Jesus, the twig-gathering grandma, Doctor Otto Von Sykkeys, Funk Soul Brother, zombie rising from the grave

Pekka Kerimaa:

Kemira driver, the naked doctor, the disciple, the cottage goer, Vesa-Matti loiri as Uuno Turhapuro, HD-dude, zombie rising from the grave

Jukka Siltala:

The Arab terrorist, Klaus Bollock Vomit, the fetus-position mentalite, the disciple, Rainer, the cottage goer, Simo Salminen as Sörsselsön, Huttunen getting beatin, the brotherman's wife, Leif

Pasi Härkönen:

The Arab terrorist, the mental midget with kickbike, the coprophile, the disciple, the cottage goer, the brotherman

The film would have also featured a scene with JD and Markus Marjomaa, but thanks to an unfortunate accident, the scene was never finished. If you find yourself curious as to the nature of this mishap, I can tell you that if you use a real knife in your productions, be careful - really, fucking, careful.

1994 - 1998

Thanks to the camera getting busted up, studying, and other activities, we did not film much during these years. We have recovered one forgotten clip from the archives though.

Jai Korhonen

Jai Korhonen is a man who lives in Oulu, with severe burns. He lives his mute, hermit's existence in a shack he has built near the Toppila harbor. A documentary team from Yleisradio comes to interview him, but when Jai finally opens his mouth, the alien mothership abducts him.

1999

Acid Cinema is born. Along with Kolivuori and Penttinen, Jaakko Huovinen, the editing-Jedi, is involved as well. The digital age of home movies has begun! The sounds are all 16-bit stereo, and the picture quality is crystal clear. 3D-animations and new effects abound!

Snoops

A realistic look into the daily life of a yard-police, in the tune of 'Cops'. Toivo Rokka is an average pensioner, whose right and duty is to chase off all manner of wanderers from the area of the Mesikämmen block. Retired sergeant Rokka is also a catalyst against the decline of modern society, never letting any abuse of common property or space slip from his hands. The word of the neighborhood association is the law!

Thin Red Moron

A trailer for Chuck Norris' new war epic. The old hairface rushes around the bushes, fighting a lonely war. We can thank the sound-guru Jussi Vartio for all sound in this one. Chuck is the ultimate ninja turtle!

Making of Thin Red Moron

A document about the filming of Thin Red Moron. Chuck Norris does not speak perfect English? 'Whatta fuck, Chuck?'

Hitman

An advertisement for a 'clean-up company'.

Juhla Moka

Even a multiple substance-abuser can appreciate a calm cup of coffee. Please contact your doctor before ingesting. Freaky!

Hunger

This gentleman of heavy caliber, garbed in chronic diapers, is also a relentless culinarist. This short clip has been generally considered one of the most frightening portraits in our catalogue.

X-Philes

The Drooldoc and Sykkeys are back! Here they are working on a mysterious obduction(!?) case for SUPO, the Finnish FBI. Poop, blood and violence, yeah!

Planet of the Bouncers

This you have to see! A Finnish cosmonaut is stranded on a strange planet, inhabited by degenerated bouncers. See amazing professional 3D-space scenes! Poop! Violence! Special effects! Beautiful vistas! The marketplace police! What else can you ask from a good movie? -All dialogue in English!-

Time Tunnel 6

A document-like film of the 1999 Time Tunnel-dance happening, held during the Oulu Music Video Festival. This clip is now used by the organisers for their own PR. Pretty nice, even if I do say so myself.

Legacy Of Satan

Pinhead meets Stan and Ollie. This is one helluva strange flick! We thoroughly recommend this for all! No camera was used, only editing equipment and a PC.

2000

Picture Browser

A tribute to TV-Shop featuring an brilliant new piece of software.

The Pumpeli Project

Eki and Ville, a pair of students from Oulu, disappear into the dark woods while making a documentary about the the frightening Pumpeli of Ruskonniitty. In the spring an edited videotape is found in the woods, a tape which reveals the last moments of Eki and Ville...

DJ Jonde

Jonde is a wandering DJ, who charges his customers 50 marks per gig.

DJ Jonde 2

Jonde meets Satan!

2001

Hobo Wars

What if George Lucas had been from Oulu's Puokkari-region, and had never made it to Hollywood to create Star Wars?

2002

The Library Song

In this controversial music video, we find an elderly gent enjoying nature, and thinking back to the days of his youth. The stately geriatric is gripped by the intellectual stimulation that the library has given him, as well as the gastronomic 'trips' he has enjoyed in his lifetime. This is the portrait of a pensioner.

The Gift

A Christmas special as only Acid Cinema can deliver. In the first act we find a ninjamaster enjoying a cup of tea in the snow. From the dark, Santa rushes forth, opening a present for the ninja, which turns out to be a pistol. With said pistol Santa gives the astonished ninja the gift of a bullet, between the eyes.

The second act reveals Santa enjoying a very 'white Christmas' with a proud member of the Klan. Santa shares with him the gift of cocaine, indulging in the powdery treat himself.

The third act, which wraps up this tantric delight, features Santa setting some gifts under the tree he has decorated, in the middle of a suburban forest. These gifts are bait for the sharp-nosed elves that are naturally drawn to them. Santa waits for them behind the camo-net, cradling in his lap a pump-action shotgun. Santa Claus has come to town.

2003

Spider-Man

The major motion picture was nothing in comparison to this inspired bit of idiocy from the filming of Introduction to Morbidity 2.

Making of Picture Browser

And that's not all! This is your chance to get all the bits of PB, originally thought too lame for general consumption. Order now and receive as a free gift this glove we found from the street.

Sosiaalishoppi

Finland is a wellfare state, and what better way to take advantage of this than to lose your mind at 18 to go straight into mental retirement.

Dream

Darren A. meets Acid Cinema in this dreamlike and morbid production where a solitary man faces his inner demons in the confines of his small apartment. Insomnia builds up paranoia, towards the breaking point.

Youth and Morality

This is a serious look into the youth of Oulu and the problems they face in a post-modern society. Well, that's the theory anyway. Unfortunately our old friend Chuck Norris has other ideas of the directions this documentary should go.

2004

Protocop

Acid Cinema's magnum lotus, which spent two years in post-production, and was thus produced on the so called wreck-schedule. The final product was eagerly anticipated, and the fans were not let down in the end. Protocop has been shown on large screens at various festivals and events in Finland, and was the first movie that Acid Cinema released on DVD. The movie's plot may have something to do with the Robocop movies.

Lost

No, it has nothing to do with the television series, in fact it has nothing to do with anything. Vice-count Penttinen remembers: "An improvisation that rotted away for quite some time in the archives. It was produced using the magic lamp method of Kaija Juurikkala."

2006

In Closing

This montage of sorts was going to be played at the Protocop screenings, but better senses prevailed in the end. The product features clips from the early, early days of Acid Cinema, or before it actually, but we admit to nothing. I mean, nobody actually does shit like this, right?